Today’s Date: July 20, 2011
I said that I was not going to weigh in, but I did today, only because I weighed in when I was 95% asleep and didn’t have the conscious awakeness to say “Hey, not today!” It was a good reading, and another pound was lost… so that makes around 5 since my birthday… over 12 since I really started back in the second quarter of the year. I really wasn’t expecting it to be good, but that’ part of what today is about.
I am the kind of person where once I find a meal that “Works” and is “good”, I tend to stick with it until I can find a replacement. Sometimes I’ll have the same meals for days, and then slowly integrate, change and improve. Today when I got home I was 1,100 calories in the hole (that’s how many I had to consume to meet my daily goal). That’s a pint worth of ice cream right there.
I decided to stick to my pasta creation: 2oz of pasta, 2 cups of sauce and a hell of a lot of crushed red peppers. I had to actually double the dose to meet my goal… and I still am planning on working out tonight so I’ll still be a bit short. I realized as I was preparing the food that inside I was struggling. I was thinking over and over, “I can’t eat this much food because it’s too much… it’s wrong… I’ll just gain what I lost.” But I knew beyond belief that I knew what my calorie, fat, carb, cholesterol, and protein minimum and maximum requirements were… and I was under.
It’s a challenge to not go under. Subconsciously I think my body tries to short the calories because it was trained that this was how you lose weight. I’m slowly learning that’s not the case. I was running 500 calorie days for a long time and thus put my body in starvation mode, shut down my metabolism, and could have given myself a stroke. I got yelled at for that by my former manager today… she was right. And it was a sign that granted I should have learned this long ago, but it’s better late than never!
